Kathy & The Giant Rat

While dating my wife, Kathy many years ago. I was invited to spend the evening with her and her parents to watch a movie at their home. The evening was going well; we had our sodas and popcorn, and a warm blanket to snuggle up with and the lights turned low.
I don’t remember what we were watching but I do remember the rest of the eventful evening.

Kathy’s parents had a den off of their living room with a door leading to their attached garage. While we were watching the movie Kathy insisted that she heard scratching sounds coming from the garage. At first we discarded her concerns and continued watching the movie. Kathy continued to insist that something was in the garage and the brave men of the house decided to investigate. We put the movie on pause and ventured into the garage. A quick inspection revealed nothing, with the exception of small animal footprints on a dust covered shelving unit near the door. After deciding that Kathy was hearing things, we continued with the movie. After a short while, she began to hear the scratching noises again. This time she took it upon herself to investigate. I cannot fully describe the look of horror on her face as she opened the door to the garage, or the screams of “It’s a huge rat”. Kathy slammed the door and while darting away from the door she shook with vile disgust. Meanwhile, hearing Kathy scream, I jumped up to see what had happened. To my disbelief a very large opossum was standing with its hind legs on the doorstep and its front paws holding itself upright against the screen door. It appeared to be looking into the house. At first glance the opossum did look very similar to a rat and after a second or two decided that it was in fact an opossum.

Kathy’s father, bless his heart ran down the hall to a closet where he stored a shotgun. When he returned he attempted to load the gun, however his hands had a very nervous shake and he found it difficult to load the chamber. The chaos and excitement in the house that night was unbelievable, one minute we are watching a movie the next my future father-in-law had a shotgun in his hands.

I suggested that he not shoot at the opossum since there were two very expensive cars parked in the garage. Chances were better than average the animal would be missed, and the bb’s from the shotgun shell would ricochet around the garage; the cars most likely, would get the worst of it.

After everyone calmed down, Kathy’s father and I ventured into the garage armed with a golf club. The animal was under some boxes in the far end of the garage. I slowly approached the animal, not knowing how it would react. I could feel the hot breath of my future farther-in-law against the nap of my neck. I turned and asked him sarcastically if he would rather take the lead. He got the hint and backed up a couple of feet. We slowly continued to approach until I was close enough to reach it with the golf club. I gently poked at its rear end hoping it would move; instead it hissed at me and showed its teeth while staring at me with devilish red glowing eyes. After gaining a little more confidence, I gave it a couple more pokes and it finally decided to retreat. The opossum slowly waddled out of the now open main garage door never to be seen again.

Looking back, I always had a knack for dealing with animals; I just didn’t realize it at the time. Over the years I have had many experiences, some funny, some very terrifying, all of which have helped me become the best professional trapper around.